Harry Potter and the Wizard Wars
by Doc. Dump
Summary: Each house of wizards goes into conflict with one other and Harry Potter is caught in the middle of it all!
1. Chapter 1

Jerking off was common in harry potters world, he was quite a horny scholar and would use his magical powers to give him cum. One time he went to the sorting head and used his spell, "abracablowjobra!" harry b say and the hat instantly jumped on his cock. As the hat slurped the last of his cum the hat said "you belong in slitherdick for ur dick is thin and long and full of venom like a snake n stuff" harry be like omg n stuff and ran he ran into snape who was quite a evil man and really needed his asshole gaped so he used his wand to make harry have a boner n fuck him up ass and he made harry shoot his load into his own glasses! Harry b blind now and scared but omg the master wizard of demon evil stuff voldercock appeared with a vengence for not too long ago, harry was mad horny n voldercock was fuckin his anus but then harry pooped n this caused volercocks penis wand to shrink permenantly by 5 inchs when his cock was 20 so it is now 15 inchs small! Which made voldercock vow for vengence. "Erecto Enlargius" voldercock shouted making harry hard again but voldercock was evil n did not want harry to come so he sent haggraed to suck harry up but not make him come and not to limp. Harry was not attracted to this ogre and was suffering every second but then the grandwizard of good stuff n stuff named double cock saved harry by casting the "stop evil stuff" spell n thus everything was back to normal but the infamous voldercock still planned in the shadows to end the young horny wizard harry once and for all he then laughed evily as he stroked his cock but tears came when he saw it was only 15 inchs long.


	2. Chapter 2

Der waz once a man named Harry Potsmoker. He waz mad G an took shit from nobody. He b try 2 score mad pussy an shit, smoth talkin bitches so dat dey gives him sum head to get hiz dick wet. While seizure humpin an gapin dis hoe's tight arse, hiz peehole opened an started talkin "no shove me in ass plz!"

Suddenly an ipod with a penis came, along wit a play station 3 wit a jew nose. They attacked Harry but he convinced them to run a train on da hoe he waz fuckin. The ipod went inside her cunt, then pussy juice went every where and the ipod exploded and she died. Harry got bored so he pluged the ps3 in t.v. he then put porn in it when he was gonna jerk his we-we his penis spoke and sayed "no jerk me plz" "aight nigga but I needs to cum" Harry told to the penis. THEN HIS PP HOLE OPEN!1! it was an Aztec portal, millions of Aztec came out and started butt raping his ps3…then Harry told his pea hole to close the portal which it did, all the Aztec warriors got sucked back in except one, his name was right nut tango. Right nut tango needed to get home, but Harry be too G to care an he killed him…..

Hagrid appeard out nowhere, stickin out hiz dick lik it waznt notin. "BWA! ME HUNGRY 4 SUM MUGGLE COCK"

Harry lol'd a little bit. "u always hungry 4 muggle cock," he say.

"I knowz..." Hagrid replied. "It b magically delicious!"

Den Koolaid man came "OH YEAH!" an gav dem heart-attacks. Dey bot b dead.

WOOT!


	3. Chapter 3

ron was fuck rats ass but den it became a human "u r no rat?" ron said n the rat man began to lol very evil n said "ty for using the key to unlock form of true gapage." ron den jizzed a river and died. harry saw dis n was so scary bt hrny 2 he start run to tell dumbledick but got stiffer by second befo he cud reach him he run to a door but his wand (called erectus um spermitus) cuz it cud grant sexual pwers unlocked super secrets room omg it was chamber of boners.

it was chamber of boners it contain boners (hence the name).

harry saw he whose cock shall not be stroked. The evil man who kill mommie and daddie, who doesn't afraid of anything and kill babez for da lolz and forced his enomiez to drink his venom sperm.

It was Voldercock!

"muhahahahha" da bad man say "u who make cock 15 inch shall pay i tried da unforgivable cock strokemutation circle n saw the boner of truth bt cock growage cums wit price (equivlant bonerage)"

"U done commit ultimate taboo!" harry shoted.

"Yes," Voldercock smile "I now b da strungst wizard of dem all an will use mah pwrs to do bad things that are evil."

"NOO!"

harry try so cast spell but voldercock unleashed his dick which bit harry and fill him wit venom sperm.

Harry tried to resist passing out but cuddnt.


End file.
